Portable Beer Pong Table: Because Meatheads Like to Recieve Gifts Too

The only thing better than absurd drinking paraphernalia is absurd drinking-game paraphernalia, and nothing says "I'm a douchebag" quite like carrying around an inflatable beer pong table. Which is exactly why the $45 Portopong will make the perfect holiday gift for that special frat boy* in your life. As with most alcohol-related products--like the booze belt, another real gem--the Portopong is entirely practical to haul around town, you know, just in case you find yourself back in college. Then again, if you carry both the Portopong and an air mattress around with you at all times, you can play beer pong whenever you want without ever having to worry about where you're going to pass out afterwards. Order now before the manufacturer jacks up the price due to overwhelming demand. Just kidding.

*Contrary to the scene depicted in the photo, this is obviously not a toy for nerds, but rather for the quarterbacks who torment them. It's just that that photo was taken at a Yale tailgating party. Go figure.

Crazy Japanese Fun Time Yum Yum Candy Explosion!

BY JUSTINE GOODMAN

Regular readers may have noticed my recent obsession with Japanese goods and trends. And while I've tried to kick the habit, it’s really an insurmountable task as long as I continue to stumble across products like the Crunky Walking Bar. There’s nothing particularly special about this delicious treat, other than the fact that IT IS CALLED THE CRUNKY WALKING BAR. That is all.

Insert Coin Here: The Human Vending Machine

BY JUSTINE GOODMAN
Just when we thought the products coming out of Japan couldn’t get any cooler – or, as the case may be, mind-blowingly useless – we came across the Human Vending Machine. Much to our dismay, no Human Vending Machines could be reached for comment, but evidently, the product is a cross between a vending machine and a newsstand, with the added benefit that, in this case, the vendor happens to be a pretty young girl rather than a smelly old man or a metal contraption. And at the end of the day, when it comes to buying a newspaper or a pack of cigarettes, isn’t that all that really matters?




WWW.GIZMODO.COM
WWW.UNIQUEDAILY.COM

TATTOO YOU: Linkin Park Frontman Inks a Deal with Etnies

BY JUSTINE GOODMAN
PHOTOGRAPHS / IMAGES COURTESY OF ETNIES

ONCE UPON A TIME, CHESTER BENNINGTON WAS BEST KNOWN AS THE LEAD SINGER OF LINKIN PARK AND THE CO-FOUNDER OF RENOWNED INK SHOP CLUB TATTOO. NO LONGER, AS HE STEPS INTO THE FASHION ARENA WITH THE INTRODUCTION OF A NEW LINE OF ETNIES SNEAKERS INSPIRED BY HIS LOVE FOR MUSIC, SKATEBOARDING AND TATTOOS. I HAD THE OPPORTUNITY TO CHAT WITH CHESTER ABOUT HIS LATEST VENTURE, HIS OWN TATS AND THE SOUNDTRACK TO HIS LIFE.

JG: How many tattoos do you have? Do you have a favorite? Any particularly memorable stories about getting tattooed?

CB: I think I have about 18 tattoos right now. I guess my favorite right now would be my back piece, because it takes up my entire back and is made up of multiple tattoos and images. By the time I’m done with it, I will have put in close to 100 hours of tattooing on it. It’s been an undertaking because the back is the most painful place to get tattooed for me. So what usually happens is every time I go to get work done on it, I end up not working on it because I don’t want to deal with the pain. So I end up getting another tattoo someplace else instead! I’ve gotten a few tattoos while on the road on tour, so it’s great to be able to hook up with different tattoo artists in different parts of the world. It’s always fun to start the tattoo before the show, go play the show and then finish it afterwards. Every tattoo has a different story, location and memories behind it.

JG: What led you to make a connection between music, skateboarding, tattoos and, in particular, sneakers? In other words, what do tats have to do with sneakers? What do sneakers have to do with music?
CB: If you think about it, music, art and tattoos have always gone together, and similarly with skateboarding. Skateboarding has always been a place where a lot of bands can get exposure early on. Old school skate videos always had cool music on them. . .they’ve always had the best soundtracks, the coolest new bands that you may have never heard of before, everything from punk to hip-hop. They all just went together with the lifestyle. With skateboarding, the shoe is the most important thing after the board itself. We use them all together, so it was just a natural progression. With Club Tattoo going into clothing as well as tattooing, being able to offer a great sneaker for our customers was key. Our fans skate, motocross, snowboard – the whole bit. Plus it’s a huge part of the lifestyle. If you can incorporate all of that stuff together, it makes sense, which is what I think we’ve done really well here.

JG: What was your role in the actual design process? CB: We have about 14 tattoo artists working for us at any given time and we have a lot of talent there, so we approached the artists and told them to come up with ideas, things that they thought would be cool for tattoos, and what would work well on a shoe. My partner Sean Dowdell and I then went through them and tried them all out on the shoes, moved the designs around, mixed and matched them, then we picked out final designs and sent them to Etnies for their team to give their input on, and that’s how we ended up with the final designs. All of the designs on the shoes came from the tattoo artists themselves that work at Club Tattoo.

JG: If your new kicks (and/or your tats) had their own soundtrack, what songs might be on it? CB: That’s difficult. I like too many kinds of music to be able to pinpoint what I would use to represent mysef.... The shoes might be everything from the Descendants to David Bowie, and the tats would be everything from Motorhead to Zeppelin...that’s a tough one though!




WWW.ETNIES.COM

Pump Up The iJam

PUMPONE PORTABLE PERSONAL TRAINERS
There’s nothing worse than paying a perky blonde named Tiffany or a meathead named Carlos hundreds of dollars an hour to silently judge your pathetic attempts to do a proper push-up, all within the confines of a public torture chamber, aka the gym. Nevertheless, we could all probably benefit from having a personal trainer when it comes to making the most of our workouts. That’s where PumpOne Portable Personal Trainer has your back. Download various workout routines – in the form of “professional photographs” that depict PumpOne’s certified trainers performing each exercise, step by step – directly to your iPod, smart phone or cell phone, and follow along when you hit the gym. Workouts are designed to meet your personal goals, from strength training and weight loss to flexibility and heart health, and within each category you’ll find a vast array of PumpOne programs to meet your needs. At an average of $19/program it may sound steep, but compared to the psychological and financial costs of hiring a real personal trainer, it’s well worth the price.
WWW.PUMPONE.COM

ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN YRB MAGAZINE. COPYRIGHT © 2007

Spray On Condoms

ILLUSTRATION BY BRIAN ROMERO

As if regular old condoms weren’t already an intrusive (albeit necessary) way to kill the moment, a German company recently developed a whole new way to ruin your sex life. Spray On Condoms are the next big (or small) thing in prophylactics, and while we can’t imagine it would be easier to fit a spray can in your wallet than a Trojan, the new product might prove to be the perfect choice for those seeking to maximize awkwardness in the bedroom. But before all you graff writers let your imaginations run wild, be advised that you don’t simply spray away to your heart’s content. Rather, insert the given organ into the aerosol can, push the button, and presto chango, you’re covered. Literally. According to the Institute for Condom Consultancy (yes, that is indeed a real organization), the new product takes only five seconds to “put on” and will protect you from contracting the clap just as effectively as good old rubbers. The Spray On Condom is still in testing, but is expected to hit stores sometime next year.

WWW.SPRAYKONDOM.DE




ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN YRB MAGAZINE. COPYRIGHT © 2007

Million Dollar Celly

RING WITH BLING
Walking around with a chip on your shoulder because you have the dopest new celly on the block? Now you can hang your head in shame for having bought that Sidekick 3, Motorola Q, or LG Chocolate phone, because you should have copped Le Million Pièce Unique, the latest release from Geneva-based GoldVish Luxury Communications. The limited edition, 120-karat phone is assembled using 140 grams of solid gold, while the buttons and other details are finished with VVS1 top-quality diamonds. Oh yeah – it’s also criminally expensive, at a whopping one million dollars. So rock some protective eyewear to avoid being blinded by jewels and be careful if you plan to get blackout drunk – this is one phone that is just begging to be left in the backseat of a cab.
WWW.GOLDVISH.COM



ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN YRB MAGAZINE. COPYRIGHT © 2007

The Business Bib

VIDEO CHATTING IN THE HALFSUIT
Part of the appeal of working from home has always been that pants are optional. But with new technologies like webcams and video-conferencing, it’s becoming difficult to rock comfortable gear to the home office. That’s why aptly named company Business Bibs has created a new product for those who want to appear professional without actually having to be professional. Seated in front of your webcam, the halfsuit allows you to look sharp and presentable to anyone who has you on telecast, even if you’re really rocking boxers on the low.
WWW.BUSINESSBIB.COM







ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN YRB MAGAZINE. COPYRIGHT © 2007

Jewcy Couture

KOSHER FOR CHANUKAH
Dust off the menorah and get ready for Bubbe’s homemade latkes, because Chanukah is just weeks away. And now the Chosen People have their very own online marketplace: Jewcy.com. Naturally, as members of the media we are also Jews, but even shikses will adore a pair of undies that say “A Great Miracle Happened Here,” or the Jewcy signature tee (available exclusively through their website), which depicts an Orthodox Jew playing double dutch with several little black girls - how precious! Other offerings include everything from tchotchkes like the Moses action figure – after all, he is the original superhero – to a Yiddish translation of Curious George. Trust us: Everyone wants a Chanukah gift from Jewcy – even your mom, who still wishes you’d settle down and marry a nice Jewish girl/ doctor already.
WWW.JEWCY.COM


ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN YRB MAGAZINE COPYRIGHT © 2007

p.i.n.k. Vodka

Way back when, you could simply head to a bar, order a vodka on the rocks and call it a wrap. But these days, there are so many different liquor choices it’s enough to make your head spin even before you’ve had a drink. Thanks to new p.i.n.k.-brand vodka, now you can have your 80-proof, super-premium vodka and drink it, too. Sip it straight,or test out such original recipes as “p.i.n.k. My Ride.” Not only does p.i.n.k. Vodka claim to be the “world’s perfect party spirit,” but it’s also infused with caffeine and guarana, so you can ditch the Red Bull mixer, or other, um, “means” of staying energized all night.

WWW.PERFECTPARTYSPIRIT.COM









ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN YRB MAGAZINE COPYRIGHT © 2006

CK Bradley Belts

PREP SCHOOLED
CK Bradley, the Upper East Side’s Mecca of all things preppy, may now appeal to more than just Yorkville-dwelling members of the Junior League. Bradley comes correct with a line of $35 grosgrain ribbon belts available in 20-odd different styles, with designs ranging from “Elephant Drinking Martini” to “Skull & Crossbones.” Available online and at stores across the U.S., London and Spain, they’re a classy and affordable alternative to played out nameplate belts. So even if you’ve never heard of Nantucket – much less spent your summers sailing there – now you can rock a belt that says, “Yeah, I went to private school, but I listened to rap music the whole time.”

WWW.CKBRADLEY.COM




ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN YRB MAGAZINE COPYRIGHT © 2007

Appleton Estate Rum

Get Hammered
Trust us: going to a club and sending a table of hot girls a bucket of light beer won’t get you laid – but it will make you look cheap and unsophisticated. Instead, try setting the mood with a round of Appleton Estate Rum, Jamaica’s oldest and finest rum producer. It’ll get you (and more importantly, your new friends) nice and tipsy – plus, you won’t look like a frat boy who lost his way en route to the keg.

WWW.APPLETONRUMUS.COM









ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN YRB MAGAZINE COPYRIGHT © 2007

Bong Vodka

Whether spilled or swigged, nothing sucks more than getting too close to dirty bong water; even if it’s that same grimy, brown, bacteria-filled water that sets the bong apart from other, less refined methods of toking up. But thanks to musician/designer/artist Jimi Beach, now there’s finally a way to drink from a bong without gagging: fill it with premium vodka. Produced in Holland, Bong Spirit Vodka is sure to be a big hit – at least until it becomes legal to import, umm, other things from the Netherlands.

WWW.THEINVODKA.COM

ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN YRB MAGAZINE COPYRIGHT © 2006