tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-43278232778109183302024-03-05T20:17:05.901-05:00writing for the comedy & pop culture connoisseurarticles by justine goodmanJustine Goodmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12572184345340395578noreply@blogger.comBlogger79125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4327823277810918330.post-1402347574778337522010-10-14T14:35:00.001-04:002010-10-14T15:19:06.389-04:00A Few Words with Comedian Brian Posehn<a href="http://blogs.citysearch.com/newyorkcity/words-comedian-brian-posehn/attachment/brian-posehn" rel="attachment wp-att-8017" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" class="alignleft size-full wp-image-8017" height="240" src="http://blogs.citysearch.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/Brian-Posehn.jpg" width="320" /></a> If you haven't heard of funny man Brian Posehn, chances are you've seen his work--with a resume that includes "The Sarah Silverman Show," the original "Comedians of Comedy," regular appearances on Comedy Central's Roasts and "Late Night with Conan O'Brien." This weekend, he's headlining four shows at <a href="http://newyork.citysearch.com/profile/44408141/new_york_ny/comix.html">Comix</a> (Fri. and Sat. at 8pm and 10:30pm; buy tickets <a href="http://www.comixny.com/event.aspx?eid=367">here</a>). In honor of his visit to New York, I asked Brian to tell us about five of his favorite places in the city. Here's what he had to say (so now you can stalk him this weekend. You're <i>welcome</i>).<br />
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<b>(</b><b>1) The Burger Joint at the Parker Meridien</b>: It's a burger joint hidden inside the lobby of a fancy pants hotel, like most good burger joints. Perfect, simple burger and a surly but friendly staff straight out of that old "SNL" Cheeseburger Cheeseburger sketch.<br />
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<b>(2) Midtown Comics</b>: Huge two-level comic shop right by Times Square. All the nerds are tough New Yorkers. I had never been afraid for my life while perusing Batman trade paperbacks before I found this shop.<br />
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<b>(3) Vasacs Horseshoe Bar/ 7B</b>: Great little dive bar in the East Village. The jukebox is totally metal and they have a Buck Hunter game. And you might even glimpse the ghost of David Cross.<br />
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<b>(4) Original Original Original Original Ray's Pizza</b>: This is the best one in the city. I forget where it is, I was very drunk. But it is worth finding.<br />
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<b>(5) Morimoto NYC</b>: Yes, this is the best sushi I've had in NYC. Yes, it's that frowny "Iron Chef" dude. The real secret to why his food is so awesome is that angels jerk off on it before it makes it to your table. Sounds gross, but try the miso cod and you'll thank me and those angels.Justine Goodmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12572184345340395578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4327823277810918330.post-81508564354100847602010-09-29T14:43:00.000-04:002010-09-29T14:43:46.480-04:00The Gold-Digger's Guide to Meeting Men<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUAnWZmkzp3R6SJzQaafqvWVN0n0WzdbU997PmvmdrUiarrf19pMnxFWZp3kbRYqP5Hx6qAOwH4Vb2ome7P7Z894vG1MTCaZ5_ynmLBdtR5ZOwCVenFDRVywjYTiaiDrN0qIUpzRtboNOS/s1600/GoldDigger.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUAnWZmkzp3R6SJzQaafqvWVN0n0WzdbU997PmvmdrUiarrf19pMnxFWZp3kbRYqP5Hx6qAOwH4Vb2ome7P7Z894vG1MTCaZ5_ynmLBdtR5ZOwCVenFDRVywjYTiaiDrN0qIUpzRtboNOS/s1600/GoldDigger.jpeg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Are you an attractive New York woman looking to support your gaudy lifestyle without working or contributing to society in any way? Then you're in luck! At these five bars, there are plenty of wealthy men ready to shower beautiful young ladies with free booze and lavish gifts, and all they require in return is the pleasure of your company. Oh, and also, you might have to sleep with them. <i>(Photo by szlea on Flickr)</i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><a href="http://newyork.citysearch.com/profile/11460148/new_york_ny/rose_bar.html">Rose Bar</a>:</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Few New York hot spots manage to stay hot, but this sleek, swank lounge at the Gramercy Park Hotel has been attracting the rich and famous since 2006. Wear something chic and snag a seat at the bar; then act bored until that dreamy Hermes-clad “hipster” offers to buy you a $20 cocktail. And if he doesn’t, make eyes at the old creep in the corner: If he got in, it’s because he knows how to tip, which is good news for you.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><a href="http://newyork.citysearch.com/profile/11350634/new_york_ny/bemelmans_bar.html">Bemelmans Bar</a>:</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Unlike the downtown hot spots, the Carlyle Hotel's timeless cocktail bar attracts a more refined class of well-to-do gentlemen. Sure, they may be fat, bald and married, but so are all the best sugar daddies. Plus, at Bemelmans, a pretty young girl is more of a novelty: The last time these guys got a taste of a 25-year-old, it came in a bottle of Macallan.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><a href="http://newyork.citysearch.com/profile/41152077/new_york_ny/larry_flynt_s_hustler_club.html">The Hustler Club</a>:</div><div style="text-align: justify;">All men love strip clubs, and the wealthier ones flock to the Hustler Club for the top-quality steaks and above-average talent. Linger near the private rooms and be prepared to pounce on an overpaid Wall Street executive right after a lap dance. Even for the most homely maiden, seducing a guy who just dropped $1K on a girl who didn’t put out is as easy as, well, seducing a guy who just dropped $1K on a girl who didn’t put out.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><a href="http://newyork.citysearch.com/profile/45647724/new_york_ny/monkey_bar.html">Monkey Bar</a>:</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Are you searching for your very own Patrick Bateman--tall, dark, handsome and a big deal in the '80s--sans the psycho killer part? If Dorsia was booked, Bateman and his crew might be found at Graydon Carter’s midtown hangout, where a sea of Armani suits gather each night after work to drink heavily, compare business cards and talk about their female coworkers in a way that’s borderline illegal.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><a href="http://newyork.citysearch.com/profile/7150593/new_york_ny/bar_and_books.html">Bar & Books</a>:</div><div style="text-align: justify;">What happens when you take a swank Upper East Side space and fill it with cigar smoke and fine whiskeys? A would-be sugar baby’s dream scenario. Men who smoke cigars tend to be rich (after all, they can just pay the cancer to go away, right?), and with but a handful of smoke-friendly establishments left in New York, Lexington Bar and Books is a go-to spot for the type of hedge-fund d-bags who only like to hang out with girls too stupid to know what a hedge fund is. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div>Justine Goodmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12572184345340395578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4327823277810918330.post-11903263990987583492010-09-10T14:33:00.002-04:002010-11-01T12:59:03.977-04:00Best New York Bars for a One-Night Stand<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhekrKdK5VtBZLAnB7_QfuZCyCGpuUKhpPxnRakb8mD-hEW9Z4dyoyS9AApf3p2Ar0z6Dx5fmDyB1ew0TYye6JOyWRyOwpv1KuWG1_UN7pbAtrqZuQ_v1SGZGNW1EVugd7fatI76cGPyVVS/s1600/One-Night.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhekrKdK5VtBZLAnB7_QfuZCyCGpuUKhpPxnRakb8mD-hEW9Z4dyoyS9AApf3p2Ar0z6Dx5fmDyB1ew0TYye6JOyWRyOwpv1KuWG1_UN7pbAtrqZuQ_v1SGZGNW1EVugd7fatI76cGPyVVS/s1600/One-Night.jpeg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Thank god for alcohol, without which no one would ever have gotten laid--least of all that snaggletoothed disaster sitting at the bar. But after a few car bombs, she starts to look pretty good, and soon it's off to your place for a night of ... well, you know. But not every New York bar is conducive to meeting Mr. or Ms. Right Now. Where to go when you're on the market for a good old-fashioned, no-strings-attached one-night stand? These six bars, where the pretenses are low and the odds of scoring are high. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><a href="http://newyork.citysearch.com/profile/7175173/new_york_ny/dorrian_s_red_hand.html">Dorrian's</a>:</div><div style="text-align: justify;">There's a reason why the notorious Preppy Killer selected his victim at Dorrian's: It's easy to get a girl to leave with you. I don't know whether it's the stench of Burberry cologne on the dudes or the blinding Lily Pulitzer yellows on the girls, but something about Club D makes everyone want to do really depraved things with a stranger. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><a href="http://newyork.citysearch.com/profile/47333378/new_york_ny/southside.html">Southside</a>:</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Are you in the market for a one-night stand, preferably one that involves a fake socialite with a real eating disorder? You're in luck, because overpriced drinks are only one of the things Southside is peddling; guaranteed anonymous hookups are the other. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><a href="http://brooklyn.citysearch.com/profile/11406871/brooklyn_ny/union_pool.html">Union Pool</a>:</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Just because you have an ironic moustache doesn't mean you don't deserve to get laid (or does it?). Regardless, when hipsters get lonely, they head to Williamsburg's most notorious pickup bar to drink heavily and go home with other misbegotten artists (read: bartenders), and then spend the next week trolling the Craigslist "Missed Connections" archives for posts about themselves. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><a href="http://newyork.citysearch.com/profile/44828484/new_york_ny/the_anchor.html">The Anchor</a>:</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Here are some words that come to mind when I think about this Soho spot: Boozy. Sloppy. Sweaty. Crowded. Incidentally, the same words could be used to describe the kind of sexual encounters that tend to result from a long night of drinking at The Anchor--except, perhaps, crowded. Unless you're into that sort of thing. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><a href="http://newyork.citysearch.com/profile/11351681/new_york_ny/no_malice_palace.html">No Malice Palace</a>:</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Don't let the post-12am line outside fool you: This is a dirty dive bar, through and through. And it's packed with drunken 20-somethings looking to relive their college days by making questionable decisions in someone else's bedroom. If that happens to end with a walk of shame circa 10am, everyone's a winner. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><a href="http://newyork.citysearch.com/profile/11350633/new_york_ny/botanica_bar.html">Botanica Bar</a>:</div><div style="text-align: justify;">This hip Lower East Side bar has been helping New Yorkers get laid for years, thanks to super cheap drinks and good music that's just loud enough to discourage excessive getting-to-know-you conversation. Stick the basics--what's your name, where do you live, is it contagious--then book it to her place.</div>Justine Goodmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12572184345340395578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4327823277810918330.post-60538940716742805862010-09-01T14:24:00.000-04:002010-09-29T14:31:36.942-04:00New York Bars I've Fallen Down In<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieUmgU7ZeKuJKnmh1Wb6cJd_DmJckggmoOJJTaz99pOtbtIo8jxvOYAf9iMHa91cdypHlJL4NTWde5man27aTRYjEWYROPCGrf_Q9oEKAWW-cbtMTBndq0lfi7Pyk5vdIfohzo71Y5slWR/s1600/Falling+Down.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieUmgU7ZeKuJKnmh1Wb6cJd_DmJckggmoOJJTaz99pOtbtIo8jxvOYAf9iMHa91cdypHlJL4NTWde5man27aTRYjEWYROPCGrf_Q9oEKAWW-cbtMTBndq0lfi7Pyk5vdIfohzo71Y5slWR/s1600/Falling+Down.jpeg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Every true drinker has woken up at least once to discover a bruise or drinking-related injury from the previous night. Me, more than others. Since the day I turned 18--er, 21--I've displayed an almost magnificent tendency to drink, slip and fall, and I've done it at bars across New York City. Why am I telling you all this? Because I'm drunk now, obviously. But seriously, watch your step at these seven bars, or you could end up like me--and as my parents can confirm, you really don't want that. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><a href="http://newyork.citysearch.com/profile/47292739/new_york_ny/chloe_81.html">Chloe 81</a>:</div><div style="text-align: justify;">The stairs that lead down to this exclusive Lower East Side lounge are steep (especially that last one, which is deeper than it looks)--hence the "watch your step" sign. But pounding Jameson on the rocks really isn't conducive to watching anything other than your life flash before your eyes, which might explain why I fell down the whole flight not long ago. Anthony, the bouncer, kindly insisted that it wasn't that bad a fall, but the bruises I incurred told a different story. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><a href="http://newyork.citysearch.com/profile/603658292/new_york_ny/janis.html">Janis</a>:</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Given my penchant for falling, I probably shouldn't be allowed out of the house at all, let alone while rocking four-inch heels. Particularly if it's raining. I made it up the front steps to this West Village hot spot (named for Janis Joplin, who once lived in the building) just fine; the problem arose when I tried to navigate the steps inside to get down to the subterranean lounge. My heels were wet, the stairs were slippery and the crowd of witnesses down below gave me a standing ovation. Hey, at least someone was able to stand. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><a href="http://newyork.citysearch.com/profile/11350367/new_york_ny/von.html">Von</a>:</div><div style="text-align: justify;">This East Village classic has experienced a resurgence since the debut of its lower-level lounge, which boasts a second bar, a DJ and a more dancey vibe. The plus side about falling down the stairs at Von is that you can't really be seen by anyone because there are doors at both ends. The downside is, when you're even looking for a plus side in this situation, your life is pretty much over.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><a href="http://newyork.citysearch.com/profile/47333378/new_york_ny/southside.html">Southside</a>:</div><div style="text-align: justify;">I used to bartend at the now-defunct Martignetti Liquors, so when my bosses opened this swanky subterranean spot in Nolita, it became my very own Cheers bar. Unfortunately, my name wasn't the only thing everyone knew; my inclination to spontaneously fall after one too many Warchild shots (bourbon, peach schnapps and sour mix) was another. If I told you how many times the bouncer, Q, has peeled me up off the stairs, you would feel sick. What's that you say? You already feel sick from reading this?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><a href="http://newyork.citysearch.com/profile/11350046/new_york_ny/sway_lounge.html">Sway</a>:</div><div style="text-align: justify;">One of the few Soho spots with real staying power, Sway is like the scene of the crime--where the crime in question is "things I do when I drink." Regulars know that the back room is where it's at: The bar is easier to access than the main bar up front, the banquettes are prime for getting wild and you can easily reach the staircase that leads to the less crowded bathrooms. And that's where I was going when I tripped down about 10 of them. Luckily no one remembers it, least of all me. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><a href="http://newyork.citysearch.com/profile/46334505/new_york_ny/shoolbred_s.html">Shoolbred's</a>:</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Now I know what you're thinking: "Maybe you should just avoid bars with stairs, Justine." Yes, I probably should. But a recent fall at this cozy East Village pub--think stained glass paneling, a fireplace and a huge selection of Scotch and bourbon--proves that stairs aren't my only problem. So are barstools. Yep, getting off a barstool can be hazardous, in this case because the heel of my shoe got caught on the chair as I tried to dismount. Luckily nobody got hurt, unless you count my pride. Just kidding--I obviously don't have any of that! </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><div style="text-align: justify;"> <a href="http://newyork.citysearch.com/profile/603660622/new_york_ny/kenmare.html">Kenmare</a>:</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Falling down the stairs that lead to the subterranean lounge at this Nolita hot spot is like wearing a huge sign on your face that says "I can't hang." It's pretty much the worst thing ever, and after having done it just the other night, I'm pretty much the worst person ever. A room full of fabulously cool people who I'll now never know will be more than happy to confirm that. </div>Justine Goodmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12572184345340395578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4327823277810918330.post-5148383385766611942010-08-27T17:12:00.002-04:002010-09-27T17:49:49.129-04:00Bars That Make Me Wanna Kill Myself<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihGjFnAEukPxP7svj7_XFeTt6irIcTRN-yLeXzcQgjj-rF90_N2bXBhIkGDrBx5soAci4OAQ6JkHIDLWdJLDGono49jl73lMrjZmsczedJ7L-G3W3XFbK51PpG_owQNwJNIF3zBD0jlJgI/s1600/BTMMWKM.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihGjFnAEukPxP7svj7_XFeTt6irIcTRN-yLeXzcQgjj-rF90_N2bXBhIkGDrBx5soAci4OAQ6JkHIDLWdJLDGono49jl73lMrjZmsczedJ7L-G3W3XFbK51PpG_owQNwJNIF3zBD0jlJgI/s1600/BTMMWKM.jpeg" /></a></div>Thirty-year-old frat boys who confuse Murray Hill with Sigma Chi. Hedge fund douche bags who refer to the Hamptons as "The 'Tones." Brainless girls in Jessica Simpson brand stilettos who are about 20 pounds too heavy for that dress. Staten Islanders. These are a few of my least favorite things. And you can find them all at these five bars. <i>(Photo: This girl loves Pacha! I hate her.)</i><br />
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<a href="http://newyork.citysearch.com/profile/41497998/new_york_ny/tonic.html">Tonic</a>:<br />
The only thing worse than Tonic East, this Times Square spot is like the seventh circle of hell disguised as a sports bar. <br />
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<a href="http://newyork.citysearch.com/profile/11551731/new_york_ny/bar_none.html">Bar None</a>:<br />
I used to go to Bar None all time. When I was in high school. That pretty much sums it up. But just in case you need more, it's a popular destination for sailors during Fleet Week and hobos at all times--and if they don't get you, the skanks will. <br />
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<a href="http://newyork.citysearch.com/profile/7175173/new_york_ny/dorrian_s_red_hand.html">Dorrian's</a>:<br />
This is a great bar to meet a one-night stand who you won't ever have to call again. Other than that, it is to be avoided. <br />
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<a href="http://newyork.citysearch.com/profile/7087479/new_york_ny/continental.html">Continental</a>:<br />
There is one single reason why anyone has ever gone to Continental, and that is because it serves five shots of anything for $10. I'm a perpetually broke alcoholic, and you still couldn't get me to go there without a roofie and a blindfold.<br />
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<a href="http://newyork.citysearch.com/profile/41794956/new_york_ny/pacha.html">Pacha</a>:<br />
Just because it works in Ibiza doesn't mean it works in New York City. 'Nuff said.Justine Goodmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12572184345340395578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4327823277810918330.post-42752169929194660402008-09-15T22:37:00.003-04:002010-02-26T12:54:55.179-05:00Jena Malone: Indie Ingenue<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_AgElFkbeSC227gmsC0zgrPUyQqSapgJ3eCy96Kc9NKSjT14t8qj4kX5Sh8eytEW6OvCdT1ldLEtwfe9_6yY1NzcoyLuR7YxJvBnrVXegSOLR-221m23hP43Ift7ps_rqKegFK2_ePzug/s1600-h/profile1_lg.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_AgElFkbeSC227gmsC0zgrPUyQqSapgJ3eCy96Kc9NKSjT14t8qj4kX5Sh8eytEW6OvCdT1ldLEtwfe9_6yY1NzcoyLuR7YxJvBnrVXegSOLR-221m23hP43Ift7ps_rqKegFK2_ePzug/s320/profile1_lg.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5254607175137734962" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:85%;">BY: JUSTINE GOODMAN<br />PHOTOGRAPHY BY: SETH KUSHNER</span><br /><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size:130%;">Would you like half?” Jena Malone asks me at the start of our interview, referring to her bottle of Vitamin Water. Sweet and soft-spoken (and extraordinarily polite), you may not know her name—yet—but chances are you’ve seen one of Jena’s films. From <span style="font-style: italic;">Into the Wild</span> to <span style="font-style: italic;">Saved!</span> the young starlet has already racked up over 35 big and small screen credits, and at 23-years-old she’s just getting started. That’s why we jumped on the opportunity to chat with Jena about her upcoming films, her burgeoning music career and her take on the world of fashion.</span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;" class="style1">YRB: So, what projects can we look forward to seeing you in this fall?</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Jena:</span> <span style="font-style: italic;">The Go-Getter</span> will still be out this fall. It’s this independent film with Zoey Deschanel and Lou Taylor Pucci. It went to Sundance two years ago, and it’s such a beautiful film about a road trip and coming of age. It’s the most, sort of, sexually deviant character I’ve ever played, just in the sense of a young woman understanding what sexual manipulation is within her own femininity. I think there’s a point when every woman realizes that her looks or her body or her temperament can win her certain things with men. And [my character explores] how to push those limits, and how empowering that feels, how strange that feels and how, in the beginning, it can be very innocent, and she kind of gives Lou Taylor Pucci’s character the ride of his life. And then I’m working on this film right now called <span style="font-style: italic;">The Messenger</span>, which should be coming out in the fall/winter.</p><p style="text-align: justify;"> <span style="font-weight: bold;" class="style1">YRB: I had a chance to check out some of your music on MySpace. Can you tell me a little bit about that side of your career?</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Jena: </span>What song did you hear?</p><p style="text-align: justify;"> <span style="font-weight: bold;" class="style1">YRB: “New Year Come.”</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />Jena: </span>Oh, that’s by Jena Malone and Her Bloodstains. All that music came from two demos that I made myself, produced myself, engineered myself with the help of musicians—like I recorded a friend playing guitar over the phone. For “New Year Come” I had a friend of mine from Lake Tahoe (where I live) come in and play violin and help me do an arrangement, and he also let me abstract it, cut and paste it and put it together. I wrote that two years ago on New Year’s Eve.</p><p style="text-align: justify;"> <span style="font-weight: bold;" class="style1">YRB: So you write the lyrics and the music?</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />Jena: </span>Uh-huh. But I don’t know how to write music, and I don’t know how to read music. It’s just more intuitive, and working with ProTools and finding something that I like and trying to sort of re-edit that and shape it…but Jena and Her Bloodstains sort of disintegrated. Then I had this dream in January that I was gonna build a shoe—a sort of mobile, one-woman music cart—that I would be able to play anywhere, and I wanted it to be in the shape of an old leather shoe, you know, like the story, “There Was an Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe.” So I started doing these designs for it, and it ended up looking like this crazy contraption made of chicken wire and cardboard, with all this electrical equipment. I eventually realized, fuck, this is not gonna work. But then I bought this old steamer trunk and I was about to drive down to L.A., and I was looking at it in my bedroom, and I was like, “That’s it! That’s what I’ll build the instrument out of”—because it’s compactable, and I can wheel it around on a dolly. So I put all of my instrumentations in there—a little karaoke amp, a keyboard, a drum machine, a little mono-synth, some hand percussion instruments—and set it all up, and it was absolutely everything I could have wanted. I put it in my trunk the next morning, drove down to L.A., and started experimenting with it. I brought it over to a friend of mine’s house, and we set it up and we just jammed. I jammed on the shoe, he jammed on the piano, and we wrote four songs in one night. And I was like holy shit, I’ve never met a musician who’s able to follow my extractions and add a certain groundness to it; to make it a little more linear. So now we’re in a band called The Shoe, and we just finished an album called At Lemjay’s Garage. It’s a six-track EP. I also started a record label called There Was an Old Woman Records.</p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;" class="style1">YRB: As an actress and musician, how do you feel about the stigma of “actors-turned-musicians”?</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />Jena: </span>Well, I think the stigma just lies in how we define what an artist is.</p><p style="text-align: justify;"> <span style="font-weight: bold;" class="style1">YRB: What would you say you’re most recognized for, or would want to be most recognized for?</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />Jena: </span>Well, the thing you’re most recognized for is never the thing that you want to be most recognized for. I mean when I got Punk’d I found that more people came up to me because of that than for anything else I’d ever done, which was very disheartening. But I think as an artist you want to be recognized for the most recent thing you’ve done because it’s the most personal to you, it’s the most intimate, and it’s what you’re saying at that moment.</p><p style="text-align: justify;"> <span style="font-weight: bold;" class="style1">YRB: You’ve worked closely with some pretty major celebrities—from Susan Sarandon to Sean Penn—is there anyone that’s been the most fun work with, or anyone you want to work with? What about a particular film that was especially fun to make?</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />Jena: </span>I’ve wanted to work with Ben Foster for a very long time, and I’m getting to work with him now [in <span style="font-style: italic;">The Messenger</span>]. I thought he was amazing in <span style="font-style: italic;">3:10 to Yuma</span> and <span style="font-style: italic;">Alpha Dog</span>. I’ve worked with Emile [Hirsch] a couple of times and thought he was amazing. The most fun film I’ve done is probably <span style="font-style: italic;">Saved!</span> because it was the first time I had done a film besides <span style="font-style: italic;">Cheaters</span> where everyone was the same age. It’s like summer camp—we’re all there for the same reason, but there’s also free time, and you’re spending dinners together, you’re going out for karaoke together and throwing marshmallows off the patio.</p><p style="text-align: justify;"> <span style="font-weight: bold;" class="style1">YRB: Let’s talk about fashion for a minute. What kind of style do you have? What are you most comfortable wearing: high fashion or sweats?</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />Jena:</span> I’m probably the most comfortable in something that makes me feel outside of myself, in a sense. I was a tomboy my entire life, and then I turned 21, broke up with my boyfriend and started finding that I was suddenly drawn to clothes that were a lot more girly and feminine.</p><p style="text-align: justify;"> <span style="font-weight: bold;" class="style1">YRB: What are some of your favorite labels or designers?</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />Jena: </span>I love Sonia Rykiel, and I also love Linda Loudermilk.</p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">YRB: What would you say are some of your greatest musical influences?</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />Jena:</span> For music it’s been a very specific group of artists: Tom Waits, Neil Young, PJ Harvey…<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">YRB: As a young actress in Hollywood, how do you avoid falling victim to the Paris and Lindsay-type of existence?</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />Jena: </span>The thing is, you are what you eat, you are what you wear, you are what you think, and that’s it. So I feel like whether that is for them a heightened sense of reality or not, what we get from it is some version of what their selling—to themselves, or to the public or to their mothers or to their friends. I’ve only ever sold who I am. They exist so I don’t have to. And I’m glad that they fulfill their space in the collective conscience; if they didn’t, other people would. And what they’ve been hawked as, and what the press has over-established them as, is helping to implode these crazy obsessions with celebrity. So in a way, whether we love them or hate them, it’s a very beautiful thing because they’re actually helping turn the tides. I think the public is a little bit sickened by our own interest, and what our interest has turned these women into, or allowed them to be turned into, and we’ve seen a lot of negative effects that our overindulgence has allowed.<br /></p>Justine Goodmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12572184345340395578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4327823277810918330.post-76630259603536065872008-04-24T16:02:00.002-04:002008-10-07T23:02:06.274-04:00Tribeca Film Festival: Cast of "Baby Mama" Celebrates at the MoMA<p><a href="http://nycblog.citysearch.com/.shared/image.html?/photos/uncategorized/2008/04/24/moma_party.jpg" onclick="window.open(this.href, '_blank', 'width=800,height=600,scrollbars=no,resizable=no,toolbar=no,directories=no,location=no,menubar=no,status=no,left=0,top=0'); return false"><img alt="Moma_party" title="Moma_party" src="http://nycblog.citysearch.com/imbible/images/2008/04/24/moma_party.jpg" border="0" height="315" width="420" /></a><br /><em>(Photo by Peter Bixler)</em></p><p style="text-align: justify;">The Tribeca Film Festival is off to a strong start, with the stars turning out for last night's world premiere of "Baby Mama" at the Ziegfeld. We were in attendance at the official after-party, held at the Museum of Modern Art, which could have been mistaken for a "Saturday Night Live" reunion. In addition to <strong>Lorne Michaels</strong> and "Baby Mama" stars <strong>Amy Poehler</strong> and <strong>Tina Fey</strong>, guests at the MoMa included a long list of present and former cast-members, like <strong>Jimmy Fallon</strong> (who eventually left the party with former "SNL" player <strong>Chris Kattan</strong>), <strong>Rachel Dratch</strong>, <strong>Jason Sudeikis</strong>, <strong>Fred Armisen</strong>, <strong>Molly Shannon</strong> and even <strong>Chevy Chase</strong>. But the superstar of the evening was <strong>Steve Martin</strong>, who sauntered in wearing a panama hat, spent most of his time at a table with Lorne and Chevy and later departed without obliging the fans who were waiting outside for an autograph. (That said, Martin's role in "Baby Mama" is much funnier than the rest of the movie.)</p><p style="text-align: justify;">Other big name guests included Poehler's hilarious husband, <strong>Will Arnett</strong>, <strong>Seth Green </strong>(of "Family Guy" / "Austin Powers" / "Robot Chicken" fame), and <strong>Dax Shepard</strong> (whom I <a href="http://www.justinegoodman.com/2007/02/dax-shepard.html">profiled in an interview piece</a> last year), who doted on girlfriend <strong>Kristen Bell</strong>, star of "Forgetting Sarah Marshall," most of the night. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">Several sad people outside were hoping to catch a glimpse of <strong>Robert De Niro</strong>, who wasn't even there. One such fan informed me he was also there to see <strong>Frank Oz</strong> (better known as the voice of Yoda), who was my next-door neighbor on the Upper West Side for many years, and who I didn't see at the MoMa. Just as I was breaking the news that the Oz / De Niro gala must have been on the other side of town, Lorne Michaels walked outside. One eager fan yelled, "Lorne, can I get a picture?" to which Lorne responded, "I'm good, thanks," and jumped in a car. </p><div style="text-align: justify;">A 30-second clip from inside the party, taken on my date's cell-phone from the future, is below.<br /></div><p><object height="355" width="425"><param value="http://www.youtube.com/v/FKhBiC3zqjM&hl=en" name="movie"><embed wmode="transparent" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/FKhBiC3zqjM&hl=en" height="355" width="425"></embed></object></p>Justine Goodmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12572184345340395578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4327823277810918330.post-87295656649666850682008-03-14T13:46:00.003-04:002010-09-30T13:02:54.237-04:00Craigslist Keepers<a href="http://nycblog.citysearch.com/.shared/image.html?/photos/uncategorized/2008/03/14/craigslist_keepers_murray_hill.jpg" onclick="window.open(this.href, '_blank', 'width=800,height=439,scrollbars=no,resizable=no,toolbar=no,directories=no,location=no,menubar=no,status=no,left=0,top=0'); return false"><img alt="Craigslist_keepers_murray_hill" border="0" height="230" src="http://nycblog.citysearch.com/imbible/images/2008/03/14/craigslist_keepers_murray_hill.jpg" title="Craigslist_keepers_murray_hill" width="420" /></a><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">Occasionally we stumble across a <a href="http://newyork.craigslist.org/">Craigslist</a> post that is <a href="http://nycblog.citysearch.com/imbible/2008/01/craigslist-keep.html">too good not to share with the world</a>.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Case in point: <a href="http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/roo/599273863.html">This listing</a> for an apartment share in Murray Hill, which was brought to our attention earlier today. It says:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><blockquote>I am an elderly lady, in my 70's. I am looking for someone lovely to live in the second bedroom (lovely people only). I am not thrilled about living with someone but I could use the extra cash. I have only one rule. You must wear a belt I designed that has bells all over it. I do this so I know when you are in the apartment and where in the apartment you are. If you have friends over, they must wear the device as well. I only have 2, so no more than 1 friend over.</blockquote></div><div style="text-align: justify;">So, just in case the prospect of moving to Murray Hill wasn't enough to make you want to kill yourself, now you can go live there with this old lady, who may or may not be the real-life version of Kathy Bates' character from "Misery." </div>Justine Goodmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12572184345340395578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4327823277810918330.post-6969527186238206822008-03-11T22:19:00.003-04:002010-09-30T13:36:08.766-04:00Party Like It's Spring Break<a href="http://nycblog.citysearch.com/photos/uncategorized/2008/03/11/the_big_easy_spring_break_rdup.jpg"><img alt="The_big_easy_spring_break_rdup" border="0" height="315" src="http://nycblog.citysearch.com/imbible/images/2008/03/11/the_big_easy_spring_break_rdup.jpg" title="The_big_easy_spring_break_rdup" width="420" /></a><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">It's nearly mid-March, which means that if you're a college student, you're probably getting ready to spend a week with 10 other hoodlums, holed up in some beachside shanty, soaking up moderate quantities of sun and lethal quantities of booze, in honor of that great American pastime known as spring break.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Well, guess what: Even if your undergraduate years are over, you needn't dip to Tijuana to partake in the sort of lewd, depraved behavior pictured above. There are plenty of bars where <del>even the most respectable professionals</del> you can experience the thrills of spring break--from the alcohol poisoning to the scantily clad girls--right here on the Isle of Manhattan. </div><div style="text-align: justify;">Click through to read our latest roundup, <a href="http://newyork.citysearch.com/roundup/42838">Party Like It's Spring Break</a>. </div><div style="text-align: justify;">And for those of you who are too old for body shots but still long to reconnect with your collegiate days, check out <a href="http://newyork.citysearch.com/roundup/42839">Gigantic Cocktails</a> (one of our new and improved <a href="http://newyork.citysearch.com/roundup/42839">photo roundups</a>)--trust me, after a few mixed drinks served by the pint, no one will notice you're balding, least of all you. </div><div style="text-align: justify;">(Photo courtesy of <a href="http://newyork.citysearch.com/profile/11459823/new_york_ny/the_big_easy.html">The Big Easy</a>)</div>Justine Goodmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12572184345340395578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4327823277810918330.post-75482029235640098792008-02-29T13:23:00.001-05:002008-10-08T00:28:45.161-04:00Black Out on Leap Day; Wake Up Four Years Later<p><a href="http://nycblog.citysearch.com/photos/uncategorized/2008/02/29/village_pourhouse.jpg"><img alt="Village_pourhouse" title="Village_pourhouse" src="http://nycblog.citysearch.com/imbible/images/2008/02/29/village_pourhouse.jpg" border="0" height="280" width="420" /></a><br /></p><div style="text-align: justify;">Are you losing sleep over why it's still February? So am I, or at least I would be, if I had any curiosity about the inner workings of the Gregorian Calendar. Nevertheless, as everyone knows, every four years we tack an extra day onto February--which the crack team over at <a href="http://apod.nasa.gov/apod/ap040229.html">NASA</a><a href="http://apod.nasa.gov/apod/ap040229.html"> describes as "relatively rare,"</a> as if a Leap Day is an unusual strain of a deadly virus, rather than something that has taken place every four years since 46 B.C.--and today is that day.<br /></div><p style="text-align: justify;">So, in keeping with its tendency to use anything, no matter how banal, as an excuse to throw a party and get people wasted, <a href="http://newyork.citysearch.com/profile/42834991/new_york_ny/the_village_pourhouse.html">The Village Pourhouse</a> is celebrating Leap Day with, um, a party where people are gonna get wasted. Specifically, for those born on February 29, this is your chance to celebrate your birthday (on the actual anniversary of your birth) with free beer, and a bunch of activities that probably don't matter as much as the part about free beer:</p><div style="text-align: justify;"><blockquote><p>After four long years of waiting, it is finally time! Calling Leap Year Babies everywhere! Embrace your inner-child and come down to <a href="http://newyork.citysearch.com/profile/42834991/new_york_ny/the_village_pourhouse.html">The Village Pourhouse</a> for a birthday party right out of your childhood dreams. Whether it is your sixth, seventh, or eighth, this will be a birthday to remember. There will be bright balloons, fun decorations, delicious cake, and boisterous activities to bring you way back. Don’t miss out on our Pin-the-Tail-on-the Donkey. Be sure to take a big swing at our piñata filled with adult favorites such as drink tickets and free bar tabs at the Village Pourhouse. If you show proof you are an actual leap year baby, you will drink free Bud and Bud Light from 7-9pm. </p></blockquote></div><p style="text-align: justify;">So, to all the Leap Day babies, head to 11th Street & Third Avenue tonight at 6:59pm to take full advantage of the festivities, and to meet a bunch of bat-wielding, piñata-breaking, 7-year-old drunks. </p><div style="text-align: justify;">And if that doesn't appeal to you, check back soon--I can't even imagine what the Pourhouse has planned for Daylight Savings next weekend.<br /><br />(Photo courtesy of the Village Pourhouse)</div>Justine Goodmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12572184345340395578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4327823277810918330.post-24531926939325297682008-02-22T22:50:00.001-05:002008-10-07T23:01:17.090-04:00On the Menu at Socialista: Mojitos, Empanadas, Hepatitis<a href="http://nycblog.citysearch.com/photos/uncategorized/2008/02/21/socialista.jpg"><img src="http://nycblog.citysearch.com/imbible/images/2008/02/21/socialista.jpg" title="Socialista" alt="Socialista" border="0" height="315" width="420" /></a><p style="text-align: justify;">It seems that the door policy may not be the only nasty thing at Armin Amiri's uber-exclusive lounge, <a href="http://newyork.citysearch.com/profile/45597081/new_york_ny/socialista.html">Socialista</a>. According to a report that first appeared in <a href="http://infdaily.buzznet.com/2008/02/breaking-news-nyc-bar-exposes-stars-to-hep-a.html">INF Daily</a> (and then caught fire throughout the blogosphere), anyone who patronized the West Village hot spot on February 7, 8 or 11 may have been exposed to the liver disease Hepatitis A. Worse still (or better yet, depending on your perspective), it just so happens that Ashton Kutcher celebrated his 30th birthday with a bash there on February 7, which was attended by such industry heavyweights as Demi Moore, Madonna, Lucy Liu, Gwyneth Paltrow, Salma Hayek, and "Grey's Anatomy" star Eric "Mr. McSteamy" Dane. The disease is believed to have been tracked into the club by a bartender, and not, as we naturally assumed, by Paris Hilton.<br /></p><p style="text-align: justify;">Socialista owner Armin Amiri (a former doorman at <a href="http://newyork.citysearch.com/profile/11494337/new_york_ny/bungalow_8.html">Bungalow 8</a>) did release an official statement, part of which was reprinted in the <a href="http://www.pagesix.com/story/ashton+s+hep+birthday">NY Post</a>: </p><div style="text-align: justify;"><blockquote><p>Although no additional cases of illness have been identified, the New York City Department of Health is urging customers to get the vaccination as a precautionary measure. We are grateful for their efforts and we will continue to support them in every way possible.</p></blockquote></div><p style="text-align: justify;">Although <a href="http://nycblog.citysearch.com/imbible/2007/09/socialista-100-.html">one visit to Socialista was enough for me</a>, those who haven't had the pleasure can now take solace in knowing that the stringent door policy may turn out to have been a blessing in disguise. From here on out, it may be downhill for Socialista--you know what they say, "Once they start letting Hepatitis in, they'll let <em>anyone</em> in." </p><div style="text-align: justify;">(Photo via <a href="http://www.papermag.com/blogs/2007/11/bar_of_the_week_socialista.php">Paper Mag</a>) </div>Justine Goodmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12572184345340395578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4327823277810918330.post-17537833516420632402008-02-14T22:54:00.001-05:002008-10-07T22:56:36.186-04:00Anti-Valentine's Day Planner: Romance is Dead, Get Drunk Instead<p style="text-align: justify;"><a href="http://blogs.tampabay.com/80s/2007/02/get_your_skag_a.html"><img src="http://nycblog.citysearch.com/photos/uncategorized/2008/02/11/dead_cupid.jpg" title="Dead_cupid" alt="Dead_cupid" style="margin: 0px 5px 5px 0px; float: left;" border="0" /></a>Do you think chocolate and flowers are gifts that should be reserved for the terminally ill? </p><div style="text-align: justify;">So do we. That's why we're protesting the most useless Hallmark holiday of them all with a special <a href="http://newyork.citysearch.com/roundup/41920">anti-Valentine's Day</a> feature that pays tribute to all things un-romantic.<br /><br />So, if you're just looking for a bar to get drunk (like any other Thursday night) try <a href="http://newyork.citysearch.com/profile/39930549/new_york_ny/scores_west_side.html">Scores</a>--where the only Valentine you'll meet is a stripper with a poorly chosen stage-name. Or, if you're looking to party with other bitter, lonely and desperate singles, head to the <a href="http://newyork.citysearch.com/profile/46302114/the_screw_valentine_s_day_party.html">Screw Valentine's Day Party</a>, or the <a href="http://newyork.citysearch.com/profile/46306889/second_annual_anti_valentine_s_day_ball.html">Second Annual Anti-Valentine's Day Ball</a>, where strangers in the night will become friends until morning.<br /><br />And no matter how you choose to spend Valentine's Day, remember: All you need is love--of booze. Click through to read the complete <a href="http://newyork.citysearch.com/roundup/41920">Anti-Valentine's Day Planner</a>, or if you're one half of a couple that makes me sick, maybe <a href="http://newyork.citysearch.com/roundup/41981">this</a> is more your bag.<br /></div><p style="text-align: justify;">(Photo borrowed from <a href="http://blogs.tampabay.com/80s/2007/02/get_your_skag_a.html">Stuck in The '80s</a>)</p>Justine Goodmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12572184345340395578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4327823277810918330.post-33283733051494692862008-02-07T22:57:00.000-05:002008-10-07T22:59:02.832-04:00O, Equinox, How You Tease Us With Your Tightly Packaged Flesh!<p><a href="http://nycblog.citysearch.com/.shared/image.html?/photos/uncategorized/2008/02/07/equinox_ad_2_2.jpg" onclick="window.open(this.href, '_blank', 'width=800,height=559,scrollbars=no,resizable=no,toolbar=no,directories=no,location=no,menubar=no,status=no,left=0,top=0'); return false"><img alt="Equinox_ad_2_2" title="Equinox_ad_2_2" src="http://nycblog.citysearch.com/imbible/images/2008/02/07/equinox_ad_2_2.jpg" border="0" height="293" width="420" /></a><br /><a href="http://nycblog.citysearch.com/.shared/image.html?/photos/uncategorized/2008/02/07/equinox_ad_3.jpg" onclick="window.open(this.href, '_blank', 'width=800,height=559,scrollbars=no,resizable=no,toolbar=no,directories=no,location=no,menubar=no,status=no,left=0,top=0'); return false"><img alt="Equinox_ad_3" title="Equinox_ad_3" src="http://nycblog.citysearch.com/imbible/images/2008/02/07/equinox_ad_3.jpg" border="0" height="293" width="420" /></a><br /><a href="http://nycblog.citysearch.com/.shared/image.html?/photos/uncategorized/2008/02/07/equinox_ad_4.jpg" onclick="window.open(this.href, '_blank', 'width=800,height=559,scrollbars=no,resizable=no,toolbar=no,directories=no,location=no,menubar=no,status=no,left=0,top=0'); return false"><img alt="Equinox_ad_4" title="Equinox_ad_4" src="http://nycblog.citysearch.com/imbible/images/2008/02/07/equinox_ad_4.jpg" border="0" height="293" width="420" /></a><br /></p><div style="text-align: justify;">Evidently <a href="http://www.catholicleague.org/release.php?id=1385">The Catholic League</a> is none too pleased about <a href="http://newyork.citysearch.com/profile/11653867/new_york_ny/equinox_fitness_clubs.html">Equinox</a>'s latest ad campaign, which depicts a series of sexy, fairytale-esque scenes shot by Ellen von Unwerth. In particular, they take issue with the hot nuns with exposed legs sketching the hot naked dude with exposed everything. The ads aren't in rotation in New York yet, but will be making their city-wide debut forthwith. In the meantime, Equinox is more than happy to exacerbate the situation by giving New Yorkers a sneak peek of what it has in store for our local magazines, billboards, and subways by displaying the new ads in the windows at three of their locations (<a href="http://newyork.citysearch.com/profile/33059685/new_york_ny/equinox_fitness_clubs.html">50th Street</a>, <a href="http://newyork.citysearch.com/profile/35155919/new_york_ny/equinox_fitness_clubs.html">19th Street</a> and <a href="http://newyork.citysearch.com/profile/11653867/new_york_ny/equinox_fitness_clubs.html">Greenwich Avenue</a>), from now through Friday.</div><p style="text-align: justify;">I belong to one of Equinox's competitors, so I can't say I know for sure what their clientele is like. But I can say that my gym is filled with fatties and old people, and if I ever once had to look at someone like the models above while "running" my 12-minute mile, I'd either kill myself or kill them. To be fair though, while these ads don't necessarily make me want to join Equinox (or ever leave my apartment again, for that matter), they do make me want to join a convent and take up sketching. </p>Justine Goodmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12572184345340395578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4327823277810918330.post-76557848285945492012008-02-04T00:29:00.000-05:002008-10-08T00:34:06.473-04:00WWCD? (What Would the Candidates Drink?) A Super Tuesday Special Report<p><a href="http://www.president08.net/images/homepage.jpg"><img src="http://nycblog.citysearch.com/imbible/images/2008/02/04/president_08.jpg" title="President_08" alt="President_08" border="0" height="284" width="420" /></a> <br /><em>(Image borrowed from <a href="http://www.president08.net/images/homepage.jpg">President08.net</a>)</em></p><div style="text-align: justify;">Super Tuesday is finally upon us, and while a gaggle of legitimate news outlets will be focused on boring us to death with talk of "precincts," "delegates" and "exit polls," we at Citysearch are bringing you the kind of hard-hitting, no-nonsense reporting that really matters. Specifically, we're investigating a question that is of the utmost importance when it comes to selecting a new leader of the free world: "What would the presidential candidates drink, and where would they drink it?"<br /><br />So, if you're wondering how Obama's plan to get the hell outta Dodge (where by "Dodge" I mean "Baghdad") compares to <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFknKVjuyNk">McCain's plan to keep us there for another 100 years</a>, I couldn't tell you. And if you're unsure of how Clinton's plan to offer universal health care differs from Romney's plan to withhold it, I just don't know. But what I do know is that by the time the polls close on Tuesday night, all of the candidates, winners and losers alike, will be fiending for a liquid fix.<br /><br />So here's our take on what and where each of them would drink--if the cameras (and evangelists) weren't watching.<br /><strong></strong><br /><br /><strong></strong></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:130%;"><strong>DEMOCRATS</strong></span><br /></div><p style="text-align: justify;"><a href="http://www.hillaryclinton.com/">Hillary Clinton</a>:<br />Everything about the New York Senator--from her infamous pants suits to her fancy Chappaqua digs--says she's a lady who lets loose with a white wine spritzer. And while her husband might prefer to go, uh, <em>downtown</em>, Hil's a definite uptown girl. But if <a href="http://newyork.citysearch.com/profile/7166675/new_york_ny/cafe_des_artistes.html">Cafe Des Artistes</a> was booked, perhaps she'd head over to midtown's <a href="http://newyork.citysearch.com/profile/7133846/new_york_ny/yale_club.html">Yale Club</a>--where her fellow Ivy Leaguers sip Chardonnay at their very own haven away from New Haven. So, rather than let Obama get to her on Super Tuesday, HRC will simply take a deep breath, plaster on a smile and get plastered. <br /></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><a href="http://www.barackobama.com/">Barack Obama</a>:<br />He may be from Illinois (by way of Hawaii), but Obama knows how to kick it NYC-style. The Columbia University graduate admits that back in the day he dabbled in drugs and alcohol (which might explain in part why he's carrying the American youth vote), but these days he sticks to throwing punches rather than spiking it. When Obama wants to get his drink on, he likely meets up with celeb supporters like Robert De Niro for sake bombs at <a href="http://newyork.citysearch.com/profile/7113247/new_york_ny/nobu.html">Nobu</a> or vino at <a href="http://newyork.citysearch.com/profile/7113476/new_york_ny/tribeca_grill.html">Tribeca Grill</a>. On second thought, maybe he prefers to show that he's in touch with the Average Joe by grabbing a beer somewhere less elitist, like a dive bar in Brooklyn, or even <a href="http://newyork.citysearch.com/profile/46295007/staten_island_ny/staten_island.html">Staten Island</a>. Just kidding! No one would ever want to go there!<br /></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:130%;"><strong>REPUBLICANS</strong></span><br /></p><div style="text-align: justify;"><a href="http://www.johnmccain.com/">John McCain</a>:<br />The 72-year-old Republican front-runner probably has to do his boozing on the sly, thanks to <a href="http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2008/02/03/wuspols303.xml">his wife Cindy, the Budweiser heiress with a well-documented pill-popping habit</a>. A decorated war veteran (and war advocate), should McCain arrive in New York to find that the officer's club is closed, I suspect he'd drop by the <a href="http://newyork.citysearch.com/profile/46306609">Soldiers', Sailors', Marines' Coast Guard and Airmen's Club</a> and sidle up to the bar with a nice single malt scotch. And once he started feeling tipsy, he would head to the nearest military recruiting station and attempt to re-enlist for active duty, just to prove that he's not too old to be president.<br /></div><p style="text-align: justify;"><a href="http://www.mittromney.com/">Mitt Romney</a>:<br />You can always count on a Mormon to be the life of any party, and the former Massachusetts governor is no exception. Although Romney's Church of Latter Day Saints traditionally prohibits the use of alcohol, they have begun to relax their policy slightly, permitting members of the Church to consume small amounts of low-ABV booze. In other words, Romney's a lightweight who probably gets a buzz off a sixer of O'Doul's. That might fly in his Puritan state, but in NYC that ain't gonna cut it. So maybe he'd try to fit in by going to a bar that is happy to make non-alcoholic versions of their cocktails--like <a href="http://newyork.citysearch.com/profile/11351729/new_york_ny/brasserie_8_1_2.html">Brasserie 8 1/2</a> or <a href="http://newyork.citysearch.com/profile/35900624/new_york_ny/counter_restaurant_wine_bar.html">Counter</a>--so he wouldn't have to feel awkward saying, "Would you make that a virgin pina colada, boss?" in public. Actually, he <em>should</em> feel awkward saying that. What an amateur. Do you really want a guy who can't hold his liquor running this ship?<br /></p><div style="text-align: justify;"><a href="http://www.mikehuckabee.com/">Mike Huckabee</a>:<br />The Southern Baptist and former governor of Arkansas may have vetoed a bill in his state that would have made public drinking in "entertainment districts" legal, but that doesn't mean he's not a hardcore boozer in private. This dude wouldn't know what the hell to do with himself in the big city, and would likely end up hanging out somewhere exotic and touristy, like <a href="http://nycblog.citysearch.com/imbible/2008/01/new-jersey-frea.html">New Jersey</a> or <a href="http://newyork.citysearch.com/profile/33070435/new_york_ny/planet_hollywood.html">Planet Hollywood</a> or <a href="http://newyork.citysearch.com/profile/11313371/new_york_ny/jekyll_hyde_club.html">Jekyll & Hyde</a>, where he'd order something creepy and overly complex--you know, like a drink that looks and smells like it belongs in a witches cauldron rather than a glass. It doesn't really matter though, because despite his victory in Iowa, it seems like it's only a matter of time before Huckabee drops out ofthe race. Then again, it wouldn't be the first time that an Arkansas governor turned out to be a nuisance for Hillary Clinton.<br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><a href="http://www.ronpaul2008.com/">Ron Paul</a>:<br />I'll be honest, I don't know much about Texas congressman Ron Paul, except that he looks suspiciously like my grandpa, and that he's a doctor who doesn't believe in evolution--which means he's clearly suffering from a kind of denial seen only among people who drink a whole hell of a lot. It's not a stretch to imagine that if he weren't a politician, he'd be standing on a crate somewhere, rocking a Members Only jacket and polyester pants with a razor-sharp crease, ranting about how social welfare programs are un-American, and how the government oughtta' give everyone a semi-automatic weapon instead of universal health care. But if Ronnie found himself in Manhattan, I'm guessing he'd probably split his time evenly between the <a href="http://newyork.citysearch.com/profile/42244937/new_york_ny/n_y_city_off_track_betting.html">OTB</a> and dirty bars like <a href="http://newyork.citysearch.com/profile/7186288/">Charlie O's</a>, where he'd alternate between Bud tallboys and Jack Daniels, depending on the time of day.<br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Look, we don't know if any of the above is true (actually, it's almost certainly not true), but we do know that one of these people will be the next President of the United States. So, just in case you didn't already have a reason to hit the bottle, now you have six.</div>Justine Goodmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12572184345340395578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4327823277810918330.post-5133670341102704372008-01-18T00:35:00.000-05:002008-10-08T00:38:58.106-04:00A Citysearch Special Report: Places We'd Like To See Squashed by the "Cloverfield" Monster<p><a href="http://nycblog.citysearch.com/photos/uncategorized/2008/01/17/cloverfield_movie_poster.jpg"><img alt="Cloverfield_movie_poster" title="Cloverfield_movie_poster" src="http://nycblog.citysearch.com/imbible/images/2008/01/17/cloverfield_movie_poster.jpg" border="0" height="571" width="420" /></a></p><div style="text-align: justify;"><a href="http://newyork.citysearch.com/profile/7091822/new_york_ny/statue_of_liberty_national_monument.html">Lady Liberty</a> is just one of the New York City landmarks that takes a beating in the highly anticipated new monster movie, "<a href="http://www.cloverfieldmovie.com/">Cloverfield,</a>" which hits theaters today. From what I can surmise, the premise goes something like this: Young, fun-loving crowd of New Yorkers are at one of those cheesy parties where the hosts videotape their guests talking about how totally awesome the party is, when all hell breaks loose. Suddenly New York is under attack by a savage, futuristic-Godzilla-style monster. Chaos and massive destruction ensue as said monster proceeds to obliterate everything (and everyone) in its path, all but leveling the city. But every movie has a hero (although judging from the <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1060277/">"Cloverfield" cast</a>, that hero needn't be a celebrity), and ours turns out to be one of the dudes who was at that party before all the madness began. Ultimately, that guy, whoever he is, leads a mission to defeat the monster, thereby restoring order and saving the city.<br /><br />With any luck, "Cloverfield" will deliver at least one good old-fashioned impaling--perhaps one that involves the <a href="http://newyork.citysearch.com/profile/7198903/new_york_ny/empire_state_building.html">Empire State Building</a> needle, for example--but suffice it to say that there <em>will </em>be blood. So, at the risk of offending a broad spectrum of our audience, we're paying tribute to this epic movie with a little hit list of our own: <span style="font-weight: bold;">Places We'd Like to See Squashed by the "Cloverfield" Monster.</span><br /></div><p style="text-align: justify;"><strong><a href="http://newyork.citysearch.com/yellowpages/directory/New_York_NY/50/page1.html?query=duane+reade">Duane Reade</a></strong> (any and all locations)<br />Sorry, "Cloverfield," but we've already got a monster that's hell-bent on destroying this town!</p><p style="text-align: justify;"><strong><a href="http://newyork.citysearch.com/profile/33059445/new_york_ny/manhattan_mall.html">Manhattan Mall</a> </strong><br />This unfortunate attempt at an urban strip mall has only one redeeming characteristic: Keeping property values down in Herald Square--and to be fair, some of the credit for that also goes to <a href="http://newyork.citysearch.com/profile/11515178/new_york_ny/penn_station.html">Penn Station</a>, <a href="http://newyork.citysearch.com/profile/11279825/new_york_ny/madison_square_garden.html">Madison Square Garden</a> and <a href="http://newyork.citysearch.com/profile/7080000/new_york_ny/macy_s.html">Macy's</a>. </p><p style="text-align: justify;"><strong><a href="http://newyork.citysearch.com/profile/45648945/new_york_ny/southern_hospitality.html">Southern Hospitality</a></strong><br />JT, JT, JT... Like we said a few weeks ago when your restaurant snagged the No. 1 spot on our list of the <a href="http://nycblog.citysearch.com/bottomlessdish/2007/12/10-worst-restau.html">10 Worst Restaurants of 2007</a>: Just because you <em>can</em> do everything, doesn't mean you should.</p><p style="text-align: justify;"><strong><a href="http://newyork.citysearch.com/profile/41908127/new_york_ny/dave_buster_s.html">Dave and Buster's</a></strong><br />A D&B is just fine in a suburban mall--or a suburban <em>anything</em>--but if this is the "new" Times Square, we'll take the seedy strip joints, panhandlers, and meth-heads of yesteryear.</p><p style="text-align: justify;"><strong><a href="http://newyork.citysearch.com/profile/46295008">MacDougal Street</a></strong> (Between West 3rd and Bleecker)<br />Ever wondered what it would look like if a drunken fraternity convention plopped itself down in the West Village and refused to leave? Well, this is what that would look like. </p><p style="text-align: justify;"><strong><a href="http://newyork.citysearch.com/profile/11279692/new_york_ny/mars_2112.html">Mars 2112</a></strong><br />I'd sooner volunteer to be mangled by a rabid pit bull than spend five minutes at this space-themed travesty of a restaurant. </p><p style="text-align: justify;"><strong><a href="http://newyork.citysearch.com/profile/46295007">Staten Island</a> </strong><br />Relax, we don't <em>literally</em> want to see S.I. crushed by a monster, it's more of a figurative thing. Like, if the five boroughs were stranded on a desert island, and they had to eat one of the boroughs to ensure the survival of the other four ...</p><p style="font-style: italic; text-align: justify;">Agree? Disagree? Send us your beef via <a href="mailto:justine@citysearch.com">email</a>, or leave a comment here and tell everyone what places you'd like the see squashed by the "Cloverfield" monster.</p>Justine Goodmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12572184345340395578noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4327823277810918330.post-40375785326661557902008-01-10T00:40:00.000-05:002008-10-08T00:42:02.003-04:00Craigslist Keepers: Post of the Century<p><a onclick="window.open(this.href, '_blank', 'width=800,height=438,scrollbars=no,resizable=no,toolbar=no,directories=no,location=no,menubar=no,status=no,left=0,top=0'); return false" href="http://nycblog.citysearch.com/.shared/image.html?/photos/uncategorized/2008/01/10/future_boy.jpg"><img src="http://nycblog.citysearch.com/imbible/images/2008/01/10/future_boy.jpg" title="Future_boy" alt="Future_boy" border="0" height="229" width="420" /></a></p><div style="text-align: justify;">Tell your co-workers that for the rest of the afternoon you'll be busy sending mass emails to everyone you know.<br /><br />Now, this is not even remotely related to New York, let alone nightlife, but it just seemed inhumane not to share the above <a href="http://greenville.craigslist.org/stp/530731516.html">Craiglist post</a>, which was placed on the Greenville, South Carolina, "strictly platonic" personals boards several days ago, but only just came to my attention. It says:<blockquote><p>Wanted: Somebody to go back in time with me. This is not a joke. You'll get paid after we get back. Must bring your own weapons. Safety not guaranteed. I have only done this once before.</p></blockquote></div><p style="text-align: justify;">Whomever conceived this is my new personal hero, and I am going to reply to the post and inquire as to whether I can accompany him on his quest in time back to the '80s, when that whole high-top-fade-meets-mullet look was in vogue. </p>Justine Goodmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12572184345340395578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4327823277810918330.post-35537391961118003842008-01-08T00:46:00.001-05:002008-10-08T00:55:36.938-04:00Saturday Night Live Writers, Performers, and Andy Samberg Groupies Turn Out to Support Writers Guild<p><a href="http://nycblog.citysearch.com/photos/uncategorized/2008/01/08/janeane_garofolo_at_comix.jpg"><img src="http://nycblog.citysearch.com/imbible/images/2008/01/08/janeane_garofolo_at_comix.jpg" title="Janeane_garofolo_at_comix" alt="Janeane_garofolo_at_comix" border="0" height="284" width="420" /></a><br /></p><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><br />Surprise guest </span><a style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;" href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000413/">Janeane Garofalo</a><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span>opened for "SNL" vet </span><a style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;" href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0358669/">Darrell Hammond</a><span style="font-style: italic;">, below, on Monday night at Comix<br /><br /></span></span></div><p><a href="http://nycblog.citysearch.com/photos/uncategorized/2008/01/08/daryl_hammond_at_comix.jpg"><img src="http://nycblog.citysearch.com/imbible/images/2008/01/08/daryl_hammond_at_comix.jpg" title="Daryl_hammond_at_comix" alt="Daryl_hammond_at_comix" border="0" height="238" width="420" /></a><br /><br /></p><div style="text-align: justify;">It was a full house Monday evening at <a href="http://newyork.citysearch.com/profile/44408141/new_york_ny/comix.html">Comix</a> where assorted "Saturday Night Live" writers and players both past and present participated in a comedy event to benefit the striking Writers Guild of America, East. In keeping with <a href="http://gothamist.com/2008/01/03/beard_poll.php">the trend</a> of wearing your support for the writers on your face, "strike beards" were in full effect, and the overall mood seemed to indicate that no one expects to return to work anytime soon.</div><p style="text-align: justify;">Hosted by <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0837177/">Jason Sudeikis</a> (who joined the cast of "SNL" in 2005 after spending several years in the writers' room, and who also played Floyd on the first season of "30 Rock"), the original lineup boasted appearances by <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1676221/">Andy Samberg</a> and <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0035488/">Fred Armisen</a>, though in the end, neither of them were able to do so, for reasons unknown. But everything was still kosher thanks to those who did perform, including "SNL" writers <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1317704/">Bryan Tucker</a> ("Chappelle's Show"), 25-year-old Harvard success story (it's about time!) <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1906042/">Colin Jost</a>, and former staff writer <a href="http://www.leoallen.com/">Leo Allen</a> (one half of the comedy duo <a href="http://www.slovinandallen.com/">Slovin & Allen</a>). Several video clips were shown, most notably an hilarious commercial parody starring <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1325419/">Kristin Wiig</a> and a digital short starring Armisen and Samberg, directed by the latter's <a href="http://www.thelonelyisland.com/">Lonely Island</a> cohort/ "SNL" writer Akiva Schaffer, who was also in the audience at Comix but dipped out halfway through the show.</p><p style="text-align: justify;">Although at least one unfortunate heckler made it known that she had only come to see unlikely dreamboat du jour Andy Samberg--whose <a href="http://www.justinegoodman.com/2007/02/andy-samberg.html">rise to fame</a> began two years ago with a <a href="http://www.funnyhub.com/videos/pages/SNL-lazy-sunday-narnia.html">video about cupcakes</a> and was sustained by a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dick_in_a_Box">video about his junk</a>--his failure to show up was well-compensated with a special guest set by <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000413/">Janeane Garofalo</a>. As always, her best material was political, and though she generally laid-off the Democratic candidates, she was more than happy to riff on their Republicans counterparts, making light of the fact that three of them "actually believe the jury's still out on evolution." Which is funny--and at the same time not so funny--'cause it's true. </p><div style="text-align: justify;">But the real highlight of the evening?<br /></div><p style="text-align: justify;">Headliner <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0358669/">Darrell Hammond</a>, who announced right off the bat that he was jacked up on<span style="text-decoration: underline;"> </span><a href="http://www.drugs.com/vicodin.html">Vicodin</a>, although it was unclear whether or not he was kidding, and his behavior throughout the rest of his set made it no clearer. After commenting that he'd just come from <a href="http://newyork.citysearch.com/profile/11515178/new_york_ny/penn_station.html">Penn Station</a> ("For those of you from out of town, that's the place that inspired all of Stephen King's novels"), the 13-year veteran of "SNL" went on to perform virtually every impression for which he is most famous: Donald Trump, Tony Soprano, Bill Clinton, Sean Connery, Dr. Phil and a dead-on<br />George W. Bush. (Though, for the record, Sudeikis plays the president in current "SNL" sketches. Or at least he did, when there <em>were</em> current sketches.) </p><div style="text-align: justify;">Hammond's musings on the Clintons--particularly his point that if Hilary wins the election, Bill's job will literally be to socialize with and entertain the first ladies of other nations ("Hey there Mrs. Putin, this here is the Lincoln Bedroom. And <em>this</em> is the Lincoln bed")--were a hit, as were his observations about President Bush ("He starts out with the intention of making a point, and then mid-sentence, he decides he simply doesn't feel like it: <em>'The American people are tirelessly [pause]... They're tireless'</em>").<br /></div><p style="text-align: justify;">If you don't consider the <a href="http://nycblog.citysearch.com/imbible/2008/01/this-just-in-go.html">cancellation of the Golden Globes</a> to be any great casualty, then you may think that because there is new programming on TV this week, the strike doesn't impact you. But the networks are down to the sitcom reserve supply, and when the scripts run out several weeks down the line, there's going to be no new content on prime-time television until the strike is resolved (unless you count "Celebrity Apprentice," which I refuse to do). And while the networks are making a ton of money off the exploitation of their writers and the strike itself, the people who really make the magic happen are starving to death. Fine,<br />that last part may not be true, but it totally might be if this doesn't end soon. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">So here's my plea: Stop watching episodes of "30 Rock" online, grow a beard, join the picketers, or do whatever else you can to help ensure that the networks start feeling the pain of this strike the way the writers are. If not for them, do it for me-- because with the exception of booze, television is the closest thing I have to a boyfriend.</p>Justine Goodmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12572184345340395578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4327823277810918330.post-43416749830087430572007-12-18T03:00:00.002-05:002010-02-26T12:55:45.908-05:00Human Giant Saves MTV: Suck On This, Spencer Pratt<p><a href="http://nycblog.citysearch.com/photos/uncategorized/2007/12/18/human_giant.jpg"><img alt="Human_giant" title="Human_giant" src="http://nycblog.citysearch.com/imbible/images/2007/12/18/human_giant.jpg" width="420" border="0" height="347" /></a><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:85%;" ><strong style="font-weight: normal;"><em>Above: Rob Huebel, Paul Scheer and Aziz Ansari are Human Giant</em></strong></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;">Ordinarily, the chances of me going out on a Monday night are nil, especially in this brick-ass cold. But with <a href="http://nycblog.citysearch.com/imbible/2007/11/tv-writers-stri.html">my television withdrawal</a> giving me an increasingly nasty case of the shakes, I took the opportunity to check out last night's sneak preview of the new season of "<a href="http://www.thehumangiant.com/">Human Giant</a>"--the best thing to happen to <a href="http://www.mtv.com/">MTV</a>'s comedy programming (or rather, MTV period) since "<a href="http://www.the-state.com/">The State</a>"-- hosted by the Human Giants themselves.<br /></div><p style="text-align: justify;">As any proper night should, this one began with drinks. Various members of the press (editors and writers from <a href="http://www.maximonline.com/index.aspx">Maxim</a>, the <a href="http://www.nypost.com/">NY Post</a>, the <a href="http://www.villagevoice.com/">Village Voice</a>, <a href="http://www.ascap.com/index.html">ASCAP</a>, <a href="http://www.giantmag.com/">Giant</a>, and other publications) assembled beforehand at West Chelsea haunt <a href="http://newyork.citysearch.com/profile/11351744/new_york_ny/half_king.html">Half King</a>, along with the show's stars, Rob Huebel, Paul Scheer and Aziz Ansari, before making the troupe to the <a href="http://newyork.citysearch.com/profile/11349744/new_york_ny/upright_citizens_brigade_theatre.html">UCB Theater</a>. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">It may have been after 11pm on a weeknight, but you wouldn't have known it from the size of the crowd, which was spilling out into the aisles. Granted, the show was free, but it was clear that these people would probably have paid to see it. And for good reason--the raw and uncut clips screened last night were so outrageous, explicit and unbelievably hilarious, it's difficult to imagine that the Standards Department at MTV would even entertain the possibility of airing them, even after heavy editing. (Case in point: A sketch called "Car Accident," which tells the tale of Bruce Penis (Huebel), a deceased gay porn star whose ghost haunts his supposed killer (Ansari) by violating him physically in order to open his, uh, <em>eyes</em> to the truth.)<br /></p><p style="text-align: justify;">Afterwards, those of us who aren't a bunch of lightweights and whiners--winos, perhaps, but not whiners--returned to <a href="http://newyork.citysearch.com/profile/11351744/new_york_ny/half_king.html">Half King</a> for more drinks with Rob, Paul and Aziz and friends that included several <a href="http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/">Saturday Night Live</a> writers and performer <a href="http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/bios/Bill_Hader.shtml">Bill Hader</a>. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">I had the chance to spend some time chatting with Rob (who has frequently appeared on "<a href="http://www.vh1.com/shows/dyn/best_week_ever/series.jhtml?_requestid=267002">Best Week Ever</a>" and played the memorable Dr. Mark character in several episodes of "<a href="http://www.hbo.com/larrydavid/">Curb Your Enthusiasm</a>"), and he told me that filming for season two is going well, but admits that it can be quite a lot of work writing and developing consistently funny material that can carry through several hours of sketches (a full season of "Human Giant"). </p><p style="text-align: justify;">If the material that aired on the first season of the show--which got the green light for season two after MTV execs let the guys take over control of the airwaves for 24-straight hours of programming, broadcast live from the network's Times Square studios--and what we saw last night is any indication, then their hard work is well worth it. Nothing is off-limits (including, but not limited to, 9/11, which they famously parodied last season in a number of episodic sketches entitled "<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXJOOCSLS8U">Lil' 9/11</a>").<br /></p><p style="text-align: justify;">Though the beer wasn't free (it never is, sadly), getting to see the show was certainly worth every bit of pain I experienced this morning, when my alarm clock began taunting me to rise at the ungodly hour of 9:30am. But more importantly, it's reassuring to know that in March '08, "Human Giant" will be back on the air, giving people like me--who would sooner slit our wrists than watch 30 minutes (let alone a 12-hour programming block) of shows about Heidi Montag, her deadbeat boyfriend Spencer Pratt, and the trials and tribulations of their beef with Lauren Conrad--a reason to watch MTV. </p>Justine Goodmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12572184345340395578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4327823277810918330.post-53450287133738860542007-12-05T03:09:00.001-05:002010-02-26T10:08:53.790-05:00Portable Beer Pong Table: Because Meatheads Like to Recieve Gifts Too<p><a href="http://www.portopong.com/plog/?level=picture&id=464"><img src="http://nycblog.citysearch.com/imbible/images/2007/12/05/portopong.jpg" title="Portopong" alt="Portopong" width="420" border="0" height="315" /></a></p><div style="text-align: justify;">The only thing better than absurd drinking paraphernalia is absurd drinking-<em>game</em> paraphernalia, and nothing says "I'm a douchebag" quite like carrying around an inflatable beer pong table. Which is exactly why the $45 <a href="http://www.portopong.com/">Portopong</a> will make the perfect holiday gift for that special frat boy* in your life. As with most alcohol-related products--like <a href="http://www.after5catalog.com/product_info.php/cPath/1_4/products_id/24">the booze belt</a>, another real gem--the Portopong is entirely practical to haul around town, you know, just in case you find yourself back in college. Then again, if you carry both the Portopong and an air mattress around with you at all times, you can play beer pong whenever you want without ever having to worry about where you're going to pass out afterwards. Order now before the manufacturer jacks up the price due to overwhelming demand. Just kidding. </div><p style="text-align: justify;"><em>*Contrary to the scene depicted in the photo, this is obviously not a toy for nerds, but rather for the quarterbacks who torment them. It's just that that photo was taken at a Yale tailgating party. Go figure.</em></p>Justine Goodmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12572184345340395578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4327823277810918330.post-34899005028041997562007-11-05T23:42:00.000-05:002008-12-10T01:58:00.969-05:00NEW BLOG - Imbible<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://nycblog.citysearch.com/imbible"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigqpqQeYgIl5OVhcyEKgiOGJ4ND6JAXsLPWGMsGKjw6yEbMPfPVp2i0zZDxpz5gjC7SByxVDVUs4f4TLem0liQmlgWOZyVW43iAKsfcVlV4tk9a6m80JbIbwfH4D5aegYlztbn0lRMabOz/s400/imbible.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5129588363927442898" border="0" /></a><br /><br />As of 08/07, I have a new job as Nightlife Editor at <a href="http://www.newyork.citysearch.com/">Citysearch New York,</a> which means that now I drink like it's my job because it actually IS my job. But when I'm not sleeping it off, my new responsibilities include maintaining a daily blog. I'm not convinced anyone was ever visiting this site to begin with, but just in case, from now on you'll find my extensive catalog of writing on the booze blog, <a href="http://nycblog.citysearch.com/imbible">Imbible</a> (and subscribe to the RSS feed, please!).<br /><br /><a href="http://nycblog.citysearch.com/imbible">http://nycblog.citysearch.com/imbible</a>Justine Goodmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12572184345340395578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4327823277810918330.post-41691501799321692722007-08-15T00:47:00.002-04:002010-02-26T12:51:43.866-05:00Movie: Death Sentence<div style="text-align: justify;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgehqt4qw9uFECEmktU2v10HUeYazJFup3ur9w_VH_Ex9l3TsiSRZUggX2LIjnpGXmKRFpVwEbgKGgW88aZERs9R22V2FLENAL_WttMNlWh5JIPTc48lzwbhZup9pw6Z7Zf522glMUDOyms/s1600-h/DS-57+Kevin+Bacon_gun.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgehqt4qw9uFECEmktU2v10HUeYazJFup3ur9w_VH_Ex9l3TsiSRZUggX2LIjnpGXmKRFpVwEbgKGgW88aZERs9R22V2FLENAL_WttMNlWh5JIPTc48lzwbhZup9pw6Z7Zf522glMUDOyms/s320/DS-57+Kevin+Bacon_gun.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5098784729911421330" border="0" /></a><span style=";font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" >After making his wildly successful directorial debut with the low-budget horror film </span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" >Saw</span><span style=";font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" >, young director <span style="font-weight: bold;">James Wan</span> returns with </span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" >Death Sentence</span><span style=";font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" >, a revenge-thriller about a family man (<span style="font-weight: bold;">Kevin Bacon</span>) who takes matters into his own hands after his son is murdered. I caught up with Wan to discuss </span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" >Death Sentence</span><span style=";font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" > and his approach to filmmaking, and here’s what he had to say.<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /><br /><br /></span><br /><div style="text-align: right;"><a href="http://www.foxmovies.com/"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">WWW.FOXMOVIES.COM</span></span></a><br /></div><br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:trebuchet ms;" ><br /><br /><br />A FEW WORDS WITH <span style="font-style: italic;">DEATH SENTENCE</span> DIRECTOR JAMES WAN</span></span><br /></div><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:trebuchet ms;" >Q: Tell us about the basic story behind <span style="font-style: italic;">Death Sentence</span>. </span> <span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:trebuchet ms;" ><br />A: </span><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Kevin Bacon plays a father</span><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"> whose path crosses with a street gang when his son is murdered in an initiation killing, and in a fit of rage and in the heat of</span><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"> passion he makes a mistake and goes after one of the people that was responsible. I describe the film as a revenge tragedy – it just spirals out of control. It’s not an outright revenge movie from start to finish. The first half of the film plays more like a thriller, while you watch this normal, everyday, white-collar guy just slowly losing control over the world that he knows, and getting caught up in a world that is very opposite his own. It’s basically a story abo</span><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">ut two different families when worlds collide – you have the family of the gang and the suburban family of Kevin Bacon. It really is a moral tale. He does what he does but he ends u</span><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">p paying dearly for it. ‘How far would you go to protect your family?’ If I was the marketing guy, that would be the tagline.</span><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTG0RZ4cKOm8-x2FccRr8PtJreOMThL7Tpd9-DGNffWqSHeVNj7HyrjklgCvex0lfgKjw3S5i9bkvUUqYTClvEkeT6aTnYEdqH0sMzEnYBot4WN5sN4F7g2S_bMLwmnChTBSvG7E8hyphenhyphentXV/s1600-h/DSKS-309.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTG0RZ4cKOm8-x2FccRr8PtJreOMThL7Tpd9-DGNffWqSHeVNj7HyrjklgCvex0lfgKjw3S5i9bkvUUqYTClvEkeT6aTnYEdqH0sMzEnYBot4WN5sN4F7g2S_bMLwmnChTBSvG7E8hyphenhyphentXV/s320/DSKS-309.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5098787160862910898" border="0" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:trebuchet ms;" >Q: You’re best known for making horror films. Why did you decide to switch it up?</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:trebuchet ms;" >A:</span><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"> I was really starting to be pigeonholed as a guy who only makes horror films, and that is so not me. Anyone who knows me knows that I’m a movie fan as op</span><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">posed to just a horror fan, and I felt like the revenge-thriller genre was a good stepping stone for me to try something different and concentrate more on the drama</span><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"> of an everyday lif</span><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">e, performances and all that stuff, and I got the opportunity to work with a lot of really good actors. I wanted to show another side.<br /><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:trebuchet ms;" ><br />Q: Do you have any advice for aspiring filmmakers?</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:trebuchet ms;" ><br />A: </span><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">The best advice I can give would be things I experienced myself, and I say the best thing one should retain is naivety. When you’re young and stupid and you don’t know any better, you just go and do it; you don’t let anyone discourage you, you just follow your heart. You should do what you believe in – just go for it. Especially in today’s world, where studios and producers are willing to take chances on young, up-and-coming directors.</span> </div>Justine Goodmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12572184345340395578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4327823277810918330.post-35207657707939756242007-08-14T23:51:00.001-04:002007-08-15T01:13:47.991-04:00Movie: The Brothers Solomon<div style="text-align: justify;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.worstpreviews.com/images/brotherssolomon.gif"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px;" src="http://www.worstpreviews.com/images/brotherssolomon.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">The Solomon brothers want to put a baby in you, and goddammit they will, even if it’s the last thing they do. When their dying father expresses one final wish to have a grandchild, Dean and John Solomon (</span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:trebuchet ms;" >Will Forte</span><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"> and </span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:trebuchet ms;" >Will Arnett</span><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">) must find a way to procreate, stat. And it’s not going to be easy. That’s because until now, they’ve grown and developed (or rather, not developed) in the social equivalent of a concentration camp: a remote arctic location where they were home-schooled by their father. Miffed to find that the ladies aren’t exactly swooning, Dean and John explore other options, such as kidnapping (“We were trying to coax that little girl into our car, but her mom’s being a real pain in the ass,” Arnett explains to the police) and adoption (“What is your return policy?”), before they find Janine (</span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;" >SNL</span><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">’s </span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:trebuchet ms;" >Kristen Wiig</span><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">) on Craigslist, and convince her to serve as a surrogate. Written by Forte and directed by the legendary </span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:trebuchet ms;" >Bob Odenkirk</span><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"> (</span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;" >Mr. Show</span><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">), this late-summer gem has all the right ingredients for comedy gold.</span><br /><br /><a style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" href="http://www.screengems.net/"><span style="font-size:85%;"><br /></span></a><div style="text-align: right;"><a style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" href="http://www.screengems.net/"><span style="font-size:85%;">WWW.SCREENGEMS.NET</span></a><br /></div></div>Justine Goodmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12572184345340395578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4327823277810918330.post-49320945873774290062007-08-14T23:29:00.000-04:002007-08-15T01:14:09.698-04:00Movie: Superbad<div style="text-align: justify;"><blockquote></blockquote><span style=";font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" ><span style="font-weight: bold;">-Popular Girl:</span> "You know, you scratch our backs, we'll scratch yours."</span><span style=";font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" ><span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">-Fat Nerd:</span> "The funny thing about my back is, is that it's located on my cock."</span></span><blockquote style="font-weight: bold;"></blockquote><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.worstpreviews.com/images/superbad.gif"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px;" src="http://www.worstpreviews.com/images/superbad.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Once again, director <span style="font-weight: bold;">Judd Apatow</span> (</span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;" >The 40-Year-Old Virgin, Knocked Up</span><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">) proves that good things happen when you combine a funny script with funny actors. </span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;" >Superbad</span><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"> tells the tale of Evan and Seth (played by <span style="font-weight: bold;">Michael Cera</span> of </span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;" >Arrested Development</span><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"> and </span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;" >Knocked Up</span><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">’s <span style="font-weight: bold;">Jonah Hill</span>), two socially inept best friends and high school seniors who must make the most of their days together before enrolling at different colleges in the fall. With no social skills, less than no sex appeal, and nothing even resembling a cool bone in their bodies, the boys realize that if they want to make it as college men, they’re going to have to turn around their luck with the ladies – starting tonight, on the eve of their graduation. Not to be mistaken for a classic coming of age tale a la </span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;" >Stand By Me</span><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">, </span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;" >Superbad</span><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"> is about as heartwarming as a funeral. But thankfully, it’s a whole lot funnier.</span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><div style="text-align: right;"><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" ><a href="http://www.justinegoodman.com/2007/04/movie-knocked-up.html">Read the exclusive interview with Jonah Hill</a></span><br /><span style=";font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" ><a href="http://www.ifilm.com/video/2872025?ns=1"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Watch the uncensored Superbad trailer</span></a></span><br /></div><div style="text-align: right;"><br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div style="text-align: right;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><a href="http://www.sonypictures.com/"><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">WWW.SONYPICTURES.COM </span></a><br /><br /></span></div><span style="font-size:85%;"><br /></span></div></div>Justine Goodmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12572184345340395578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4327823277810918330.post-30685397742091386142007-08-14T23:24:00.001-04:002007-08-15T01:14:52.740-04:00Movie: I'm Reed Fish<div style="text-align: justify;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.gilmoregirlsnews.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/05/reed-15.2.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://www.gilmoregirlsnews.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/05/reed-15.2.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">In his breakout role, <span style="font-weight: bold;">Jay Baruchel</span> (</span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;" >Undeclared, Knocked Up</span><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">) proves to the world that Zach Braff isn’t the only geeky leading man who can pull off a romantic comedy without making us want to puke. Baruchel plays Reed Fish, a small town radio personality with a hot fiancée (</span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;" >Gilmore Girls</span><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">’ <span style="font-weight: bold;">Alexis Bledel</span>) and a solid 10-year plan, whose life is turned upside-down when his former high school crush suddenly reappears on the eve of his nuptials. With <span style="font-weight: bold;">DJ Qualls</span> (</span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;" >Road Trip, Hustle & Flow</span><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">) and </span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;" >SNL</span><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"> alum <span style="font-weight: bold;">Chris Parnell</span> at the helms, </span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;" >I’m Reed Fish</span><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"> takes a not-so-original story and turns it into a not-half-bad picture.</span><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style=";font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:85%;" ><br /><br /><br /><br /></span><div style="text-align: right;"><span style=";font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:85%;" ><a href="http://www.screenmediafilms.net/">WWW.SCREENMEDIAFILMS.NET</a></span><br /></div></div>Justine Goodmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12572184345340395578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4327823277810918330.post-11957270419562318332007-08-13T00:02:00.000-04:002007-08-15T01:12:38.061-04:00TV: Kaya<div style="text-align: justify;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.tvgasm.com/newsgasm/news/2007/02/27/kaya/daniellesavre/daniellesavre.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px;" src="http://www.tvgasm.com/newsgasm/news/2007/02/27/kaya/daniellesavre/daniellesavre.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">After a slew of reality show successes like </span><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: trebuchet ms;">The Hills</span><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">, </span><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: trebuchet ms;">My Super Sweet 16</span><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"> and </span><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: trebuchet ms;">Rob & Big,</span><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"> this fall MTV returns to the sitcom with </span><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: trebuchet ms;">Kaya</span><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">. The half-hour drama revolves around the world of Kaya (</span><span style="font-weight: bold; font-family: trebuchet ms;">Danielle Savre</span><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">), a young musician whose life is forever changed when she skyrockets to celebrity status virtually overnight. Kaya is managed by her often self-serving father Don (who is </span><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: trebuchet ms;">totally</span><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"> not based on Joe Simpson), a former supermarket meat manager who must eventually choose between his own newfound success and his daughter. Presented through a series of flashbacks, present day scenes and flash-forwards, the viewer follows Kaya as she attempts to stay afloat amidst the rock & roll lifestyle and all its temptations, from drugs and sex to money and power. It remains to be seen whether audiences will go for a scripted drama on a network that has enjoyed a resurgence thanks to shows that document the real life excesses of bratty American teens who will literally die if Shakira doesn’t perform at their birthday parties, but MTV has historically proven adept at catering to the interests of its viewers, and </span><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: trebuchet ms;">Kaya</span><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"> is likely to follow suit.</span><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: right;"><a style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" href="http://www.mtv.com/"><span style="font-size:85%;">WWW.MTV.COM</span></a><br /><br /></div>Justine Goodmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12572184345340395578noreply@blogger.com0